“Rick Perry dropped out. He said while it’s sad he won’t be president, he can always run again next year.” –Bill Maher
“Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife went on nightline and said that he wanted to have an open marriage. This is the second wife, talking about him when he was fooling around with what became the third wife. Newt wanted apparently to have his wife and his marriage and also women on the side giving him oral sex. This way he could be nice and relaxed when he went to work and accused blacks of feeling entitled.” –Bill Maher
“I have not seen anything this surreal since they cancelled ‘Twin Peaks.’ What else can you say about a Republican debate when the rich guy, who’s avoiding taxes – which they like, gets booed and the fat creep into threesomes gets a standing ovation?” –Bill Maher, on Romney and Gingrich in the CNN debate
“Newt was mad. He said ‘I am not a philanderer; I am a blow job creator.’” –Bill Maher
“Newt said this is despicable to ask these questions. Why are we dwelling on the past? We should be concentrating on the future and putting America’s children back to work.” –Bill Maher
“Meanwhile, at the debate, Mitt Romney’s got a look on his face like, ‘Three women at once? Who’s the Mormon in this race?’” –Bill Maher
“I thought the race was over; I thought Mitt Romney had closed it. You know for a guy that is supposed to be a great business man, he sure can’t close the deal. And now it looks like Mitt vs. Newt; Alien vs. Predator.” –Bill Maher
“New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of “every man for himself” doesn’t make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.” -Bill Maher
“New Rule: The NAACP must take Newt Gingrich up on his offer to stand in front of the their convention and tell them why black people should want jobs instead food stamps. This way I can finally answer a question that’s been bugging me for years: can Newt Gingrich run?” –Bill Maher
[a tip of the hat to Daniel Kurtzman, HBO]
